Mental Preparation
Being prepared mentally is the critical first step in enduring and embracing the family law process. You can do this by analyzing each step of the family law process objectively — and you must push yourself to be objective. Question yourself in the mirror: What is the worst-case scenario from the break-up, and what is the likelihood the worst-case scenario will come true? Preparing and narrowing your focus on each issue will enable you to visualize the worst-case scenario and incrementally improve your actual position on both the specific issue and the entire case. I implore clients to “get strong so you can help me to help you!” Discard the wisdom of your neighbor, cousin (lawyer in another jurisdiction or not), Judge Judy, and every other pop-psychologist with a one-size-fits-all solution. This is your life now and it will still be your life after the family law process ends.
Please note, though, mental strength ought not be confused with mental health. Mental illness is common in our society. Break-ups alone neither cure nor create mental illness. Anyone with a genuine mental illness will rarely benefit from the approach to mental toughness advocated here. Mental illness must be treated carefully and consistently.
Preparation and expectation combine to form the dual states of mind critical for efficient passage through the family law process. Believe in your preparedness because no one can ever be fully prepared, and surreptitiously cradling low expectations will ensure you survive and thrive.