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Promises, Promises…

Promises, Promises…

Guest Writer: Stacey Rose, PhD, LCSW


‘Be impeccable with your word’ is one of the chapters in The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. (If you haven’t read his book, it’s a classic and must read!) But what does this really mean? It means when you say you are going to do something, you do it…no matter what. When you make any promise, you keep your promise, no matter what. In other words, you can be trusted, and you are reliable. This is of critical importance in life generally speaking and even more in significant relationships. If you tell your partner you are going to do something and don’t do it, consistently, your partner will learn not to trust you. But if instead, you make a promise and continually keep that promise (unless unusual circumstances arise), the trust in your relationship will be solid, which is a significant foundation of a happy relationship.  

So, I made a ‘promise’ to myself and to you back in December of 2019. I promised that I was going to do a daily video, every day of the year, 365 videos! And yes, I’m doing it! These short relationship tip videos can be found on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn. But more importantly than telling you about the videos is to address the issue of making a commitment and sticking to it. Anytime we make a commitment to do anything, there will be times when it is hard and we may want to quit. We may reconsider our ‘why’. We may try and find reasons why it’s probably better we don’t keep doing what we promised we would do. Maybe you set some New Year’s resolutions this year, have you kept them? If so, kudos to you! If not, be curious, not punitive with yourself. Ask yourself what got in the way of you breaking your promise to yourself? Fear? And by the way, if you dropped the ball with a promise or commitment you set out to do, you can pick that same ball up again and start over! If you do, ask yourself what you may need so you don’t drop it again. Sometimes having an accountability partner helps, someone who you have to call and let them know, “yes, I went to the gym 3 times this week” or “ yes, I’m living within my budget”.  

Whatever your promise is, to yourself, your family, or friends, keep it. Don’t make a promise you can’t keep. And if you make a promise that you are finding difficult to keep, ask those around you for support.  

So, feel free to check out my videos where I’m offering 365 tips for this new year of 2020. And know that some days are not going to be as good as others; know that on some days, it will flow smoothly and other days, it will seem truly imperfect…because we all are.