Getting a divorce these days is one of the most common legal processes that American couples go through. Around 10% of the U.S. population had been divorced at least once, and 1.5 million children see their parents divorce each year. It is a common legal procedure, but it can be very lengthy and confusing to go through on your own. The average divorce case today takes about a year to complete and can cost anywhere from $15,000 to $30,000. It is not exactly a fun process.
And getting a divorce is even more complicated when you are the victim of domestic violence.
Domestic violence appears in many forms: it can be physical, sexual, or psychological. Abusive spouses often create an invisible web of control, making it difficult for the victim to escape. Your spouse might target you specifically, or your children may also be targeted. According to a survey from the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML), many divorce lawyers (approximately 32% of survey respondents) have noticed an increase in the number of divorce cases that involve domestic violence within the past five years. Studies show that 95% of domestic violence victims are women, and experts believe that around 4 million people experience some form of domestic violence each year.
If you are the victim of domestic violence and you are seeking a divorce from your spouse, here are a few things you need to know:
- Always remember to put the safety of yourself and your children before all else. Do not worry about creating “awkward tensions” in the extended family because you called the police or reached out for help.
- Even though moving out of your home with your children before talking to a lawyer could impact your child support and alimony payments, it is imperative to move out if you or your children are in danger. Yes, it might be more difficult to iron out the details of alimony payments, but an experienced divorce attorney will understand how to approach the situation.
- Do not be afraid to stand up for yourself, no matter how long the abuse has been happening.
- Remember that you are not the one who is dividing up the family; if your spouse has made the choice to become abusive, then he/she is the one responsible for causing a division in the family.
- Do not be embarrassed or ashamed about what you have been through, and do not let these emotions keep you from seeking legal protection. A good divorce lawyer will understand that certain details of your marriage will be difficult to discuss, but that it is important to show the court an accurate representation of what your marriage was like.
If you are the victim of domestic violence, it is essential to know that help is available.