There is a 20% probability that a first marriage ends within just five years, and if you and your children find yourself a part of that 20%, things will get complicated, and fast. However, there are steps you can take to make the process easier for everyone in your family.
Child custody is one of many legal issues that come up in divorce, but it is often the most pressing. If you want to create a positive environment for your children while going through a divorce, here are a few rules you need to follow.
Do Not Speak Negatively About Your Ex
We know that’s easier said than done. But while divorce is often the result of irreparable damage in a relationship, it is not healthy for your children to hear negative things about their parents. Your children know that they are the product of you and your former spouse, so negative words can often be internalized.
Do Not Make it About You
You can hate your former spouse and use a divorce lawyer to become legally separated, but it is unfair to your children if you make it about your personal life. Care and custody of the children is about just that — the children.
Bad Spouse Does Not Mean Bad Parent
Unless your grounds for divorce lie in child and spousal abuse, a bad relationship does not always mean bad parenting. It is usually best for children to have contact with both parents during and after a divorce to maintain some form of normalcy.
Communicate
If communication was one of the causes of your legal issues, make it part of the solution in your child custody arrangements. For the sake of your children, you need to find a way to communicate that is agreeable and easy for both parties.
Listen to Your Child
If your child has questions or concerns, let them speak and make it clear that you are really listening. Many children can feel left behind during a divorce, which means that you need to listen to them and be honest with them as well.
Divorce can be difficult, but once you work out a child custody strategy that works for everyone involved, it will make your life that much easier — and your children’s lives that much happier.