Whether working with divorce attorneys or speaking with your spouse on the phone, communication is key to smoothly navigating the divorce process. By practicing basic, constructive communication skills, you and your spouse can effectively communicate all grievances, expectations, and needs. Follow these tips for making your divorce conversations more effective, potentially expediting the process entirely.
- Speak in-person or over the phone as much as possible. While communicating via text or email, messages between you and your spouse can get misinterpreted. Without the aid of body language or tone of voice, a well intentioned comment could be read as aggressive. These messages could also be printed to use in court, even though 95% of divorce cases are settled out-of-court. For these reasons, it is wise to reserve electronic communication for cut and try messages.
- Negotiate only when your divorce lawyer or mediator is in the room. If you are choosing divorce mediation to negotiate your conditions, air on the safe side by letting your lawyer or mediator oversee the conversation. If you and your spouse discuss the terms of your divorce outside of the law office, this could lead to arguments and additional anger.
- Stay calm. While speaking with your spouse, and with divorce attorneys, do your best to stay even-tempered. Try to speak with a calm tone, as an angry tone can heighten emotions and hinder productivity. In this case, how you listen is just as important as how you speak. Practice active, compassionate listening, and try to be understanding about what your spouse is saying.
- Be careful of social media activity. Social media posts, much like text messaging and email, can send confusing signals to your spouse. When posting on your social networks, avoid any posts that are passive aggressive or could cause unnecessary anger.
- Look ahead. While it is natural to reference frustrating moments from the past, try to focus on long term, bigger picture goals while talking out your divorce conditions. The nagging, often unchangeable, details could lead to bigger arguments.
Your divorce lawyer or mediator will have more strategies for efficiently working through your divorce. Be patient with yourself and your spouse as you work through this difficult time. This commitment to effective communication will lead to more satisfactory results.