Below are the most common mistakes that every man going through divorce has made.
By Jeff J. Horn – Divorce Attorney
Divorce Attorney – Refusing to Pay Alimony?
Alimony is often a key battleground in divorce proceedings, and many men attempt to avoid paying their former spouse‘s alimony. However, as a divorce attorney, it is best to settle alimony in court, rather than take drastic measures such as not paying alimony. Similarly, child support must be paid to the former spouse. If it is not paid, a long, painful and often losing battle will follow in court. Men should also be aware of the consequences of trying to use child custody as a financial lever. Additionally, do not fabricate stories about your ex to prove that she is crazy, as this will not be beneficial. Staying in the same house during the divorce process will not save you money and attempting to stop payments to force a settlement will not work as planned.
As a divorce attorney I can confidently say that alimony is the number one battleground for divorcing parties. It is not a surprise when men going through divorce do not want to pay their former spouse’s alimony. Oftentimes husbands will not pay alimony, but this will not work out in their favor. Alimony is best settled in court rather than through drastic measures such as not paying alimony. Similarly, child support must be paid to the former spouse. If it is not paid, a long, painful and (more often than not) losing battle will follow in court, along with a slew of potential punishments.
Fighting for Child Custody
In many families the wife has been the primary caretaker of the children and expects to continue in that role post-divorce. Many men try to threaten their former spouses by trying to gain custody of the children. The temptation to try to use custody as a financial lever is a powerful one. However, the reasons not to do so are even more powerful. It is wrong to use your children as a chess piece, but it is also a battle most men will not win.
Convince Your Divorce Attorney That Your Wife is Crazy
Divorce is nasty, and it is assumed that both sides will be out to get the other. Don’t fabricate a story about your ex just to prove that she is crazy. There are two possible outcomes, and neither are favorable. One is that the courts do not believe you and your case becomes less credible, and the other is that the courts do believe you that your wife is actually mentally ill. This would mean that you would be required to support her financially for a longer period of time, since she may be deemed incapable to find work.
Staying in the House
Any divorce attorney will tell you that you should separate from your ex in order to be emotionally separate and stable. People that stay under the same roof during divorce increase the stress for themselves and increase dramatically the stress for the children. When the kids see the parents fighting or feel the tension in the house; or they are confused and hold out hope that mom and dad will stay together. Make a decision and then make a move. Staying in the same house will not save you money. The rent that you “saved” will be chewed up in legal fees now and in the future.
Stop Paying to Force a Settlement
Attempting to stop payments in order to hurt your ex financially so badly that they are forced into a settlement will not work as planned. It is not difficult for a mom or wife to get into court and secure an order of support. In the end you as the support payor will wind up paying at least your fair share, incur the cost of litigating the support motion, and embolden the financially dependent spouse to fight on because the judge is on her side.
Divorce Anger and Bad Decisions
Thanks to Horn Law Group, LLC intern Liam Meakem.