Seven Holiday Parenting tips
Thrive over the Holidays – even separated or divorced.
Jeff J. Horn, NJ Family Lawyer
Surviving Holiday Parenting During Separation & Divorce: Planning, Flexibility, Religious Observance & More. Separation and divorce are painful. Holiday parenting time can often exacerbate that pain. Your children want to enjoy the holidays and you feel pressure. Learn how to plan for holiday parenting time during separation and divorce, religious obligations, family obligations, gift giving, extended family, and more. Follow these commonsense tips for memorable and loving holidays.
Separation and divorce are painful. Frequently, Holiday parenting time exacerbates that pain. Your children want to enjoy the holidays. You feel pressure. Religious obligations impact holiday parenting. Family obligations impact holiday parenting during separation and divorce.
Surviving the holiday parenting as a separated family requires the proper mindset. Keep these things in mind.
One. Planning Holiday Parenting Time
Share your plans with your ex well in advance. Unsurprisingly, if you spring a new plan on your ex, a battle will ensue. However, holiday parenting arrangements made well in advance are hard to argue with.
Two. In writing
In writing now means text or email. Set your holiday parenting plan in stone with clear confirmed writings. If you are using text messages, screenshot all of the text messages. Save the messages on your phone and off your phone. Confirm dates and times. Of course, try to be nice.
Three. Flexibility
The prescription for good holidays is flexibility. Occasionally, family plans change. Your generous act in bending your plans may pay off another time. Perhaps, you may need flexibility next year. The holiday travel plans of a relative may force changes. Extend the olive branch when you can.
Four. Religious observance
Parents of different religions should allow the children access to both traditions. If there is the conflict, the primary caregiver parent’s religion usually prevails. Conversely, if the family observes the same religion, offer to celebrate religious observation together.
Five. Gift Giving
Many holiday observations involve gift giving. Buy a gift for your ex. Your children will be thrilled to give the other parent a gift. Likely, your children will tell the other parent you got the gift. You paid for the gift. What better example can you set for your children by being generous in the face of conflict? Be generous of heart.
Six. Extended family
Oftentimes, Holiday religious’ observation often involves extended family. Will you cut off your children from their Grandparents? Aunts? Uncles? No. Let the children interact with the extended family of your EX. If they run away from you that is their problem. If you normally exchange gifts – exchange gifts.
Seven. Holidays are for children
Let your children enjoy the holidays. Allow them to manifest their appreciation of religious observation. Foster celebration rather than conflict around holiday time. On surprisingly, courts – – family law judges tripped over the holidays. Family law judges will be overrun with so-called emergency. Stay out of court if you can. Follow these commonsense tips to enjoy memorable and loving holidays
Holiday Parenting Bonus Tip
Call your lawyer. Don’t snicker. I mean, call your lawyer before things get crazy and it is the day before a holiday, or your holiday travel plans. If your ex requires a fight, get ahead of the fight well in advance of the holiday. Stubbornly fighting with a narcissist or control freak may produce bad results for you and your children. The threat of court, lawyers and judges may be enough to move out your holiday parenting conflicts.
Happy, healthy, merry and peaceful!
Photo by Cofohint Esin on Unsplash