Below are the most common mistakes made by women in divorce. Going through a divorce is extremely challenging. Avoid these pitfalls that women commonly run into during divorce to help make it more bearable.
By Jeff J. Horn – Divorce Attorney
Common Mistakes Made by Women: Trying to Take Everything
Divorce can be a difficult and stressful process, and it is understandable that you may want to take everything from your former spouse. However, if you are trying to win by being unreasonable, this will cost a fortune in legal fees, and you will both be dragged through court for much longer than necessary. Additionally, mistakes made by women, playing the victim or pitting your children against their father during a divorce can cause long lasting trauma and will affect your family in many unforeseen ways. Furthermore, don‘t fabricate a story about your ex just to prove that she is crazy, and don‘t stop your ex from being a parent. Lastly, be open to your ex’s new relationships post–divorce and don‘t use them as a way to gain full custody or as any other bargaining piece.
If you are going through a divorce, it is understandable that you may want to take everything. Likewise, you may want to demand an unreasonably high payment of alimony. In order to win, you want to avoid the common mistakes made by women. However, if this is your thought process, you most likely have the wrong mindset. In this situation, if the wife got everything and the husband got nothing, the wife will feel like a winner! Of course, the husband will feel like a loser, and the case will go on and on. Avoid this at all costs. Being unreasonable, will cost a fortune in legal fees and you will both be dragged through court. Alimony ensures that you will be provided with basic necessities and will not have to struggle in the immediate future. Anything else is just luxury.
Playing the Victim
Oftentimes another of the mistakes made by women, Divorcers tend to play the victim instead of attempting to move on. Unfortunately, this is a common mistake made by women. This can be detrimental to the mindset of both parties, but it can be even more dangerous when children are involved. Pitting your children against their father during a divorce can cause long lasting trauma and will affect your family. However, keeping a stiff upper lip about this will avoid poisoning the children against their father.
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Convince Your Divorce Attorney That Your Wife is Crazy
Divorce is nasty, and it is assumed that both sides will be out to get the other. Don’t fabricate a story about your ex just to prove that she is crazy. There are two possible outcomes, and neither are favorable. One is that the courts do not believe you and your case becomes less credible, and the other is that the courts do believe you that your wife is actually mentally ill. This would mean that you would be required to support her for a longer period.
Don’t Stop Your Ex From Being a Parent
Kids need their parents and keeping them from their father because of a dispute that had little to do with them is not going to affect them positively. Making visitation contingent on child support payments is specifically one of the worst mistakes you can make. If dad is not paying his child support, figure it out in court, not by having him buy his time with his own children. Of course, Family Court Judges will expect dad to pay his support, and they will expect mom to provide access to the children. Additionally, divorced parents will still need to cooperate to make decisions for their child in joint-custody situations. Just because dad doesn’t live at home doesn’t mean that he isn’t expected to be a part of big decisions.
Be Open to Your Ex’s New Relationships Post-Divorce
Another big mistake made by women going through divorce is letting their anger cloud their better judgment. Post-divorce anger can cause you to make poor decisions about your ex’s new significant other. While it is understandable to be angry, you can’t use this to gain full custody or as a bargaining piece. Digging through your ex-husband’s girlfriend’s past, plotting against her or spreading lies about her to your children. Actions like this will not be looked upon favorably in court and will also have negative repercussions for the kids who should not be forced to choose sides. The best course of action is to accept that the woman is a part of your ex’s life and encourage your children to do the same.
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Thanks to Horn Law Group, LLC intern Liam Meakem.