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Trusting Your Lawyer

Trusting Your Lawyer


Trusting Your Lawyer

When going through a divorce, trusting your lawyer is key. Learn the difference between an abdicator and a critic, and how lawyers can‘t predict the outcome of the case. Understand that your lawyer is on your side when they give honest advice, even if it‘s disappointing. Read more on how to trust your lawyer during a divorce and the bad memories that may fade.

Going through a divorce, all of your assumptions change. The trust you once had for your spouse erodes.  The trust you had for the institution of marriage dissipates.  Your lawyer is asking you for your trust. Before trusting your lawyer, you will fall into two categories, abdicator or critic. You may even fall into both categories at once.  

Trusting Your Lawyer – Abdicator

As abdicator, you turn over full responsibility for the case to your lawyer. You say, “I don’t care what it costs!” and you mean it, because the cost, money, time, future, ability to deal with your spouse, your children, and your extended family is of no concern to you — you are not responsible.  You want to get even, you want revenge, you want something done, and you want something done now, but you refuse to take responsibility because you are an abdicator. Turning over the responsibility of the case to someone else may provide you with a sense of relief.  

Trusting Your Lawyer – Critic

The critics are the opposite of the abdicators. They criticize everything — every letter written, the receipt of a court notice, review of a photocopy of a simple letter from the opposing lawyer, and, of course, the bill tendered from their lawyer. Critics are on high alert about everything in their life. They cannot trust anyone. They believe that everyone is out to get them. When the lawyer does not act fast enough or the result is not what the client wanted, he or she is furious. They second-guess every step of the case.

Lawyers Can Not Predict

Unfortunately, lawyers will not be able to tell you the case’s future.

Here are some things lawyers can predict:

  1. The divorce will end.
  2. You’ll be okay.
  3. You’ll be frustrated during the process.
  4. You’ll doubt your lawyer.
  5. You’ll think of how your marriage might have been saved.
  6. You’ll feel screwed.
  7. You’ll find the process threatening.
  8. You’ll feel the other side is being favored.
  9. You’ll think the other lawyer is an *@?!.
  10. The bad memories will fade.


Your lawyer is on your side when he or she gives you brutally honest advice, even when it is disappointing.  Trusting your lawyer is key. After all, the lawyer is passing up an opportunity to make money by merely agreeing with you.  Wanting your lawyer to be your cheerleader and agree with you all the time at the expense of honest advice always results in you and your business being the losers.




Some thoughts on divorce lawyer legal fees

Defects in Law Practice?


Thanks to Horn Law Group, LLC intern Noah Hilsdorf.