Request a Consultation
Our Latest Blog
Uncategorized

Your Divorce in Ocean County

Your Divorce in Ocean County

Your Divorce in Ocean County

Jeff J. Horn – Divorce Lawyer

Book Excerpt

 

The First Eight Days of divorce in Ocean County – The Entire Book on Amazon!

 

Your Divorce in Ocean County:  Broken Heart 

 

On the first day of your divorce in Ocean County, you have a Broken Heart.  There may have been many, many fractures along the way.  In the rush of chemicals into your brain that cause a flood of emotion, you will feel broken.  You will range from blaming your spouse or someone else to blaming yourself.  These are deep feelings.   

 

My Spouse Did This To Me! 

In near rapid fire succession, you experience the sensation of seeing, hearing, and feeling the events that caused your heart to break.  These events, as they flash in your mind, reflect things your spouse did to you.  Your spouse broke your heart.  He or she is to blame. 

 

Your Divorce in Ocean County:

It’s All My Fault! 

As quick as your mind may blame your spouse for your Broken Heart, you will assess blame to yourself.  This self-blame may flash into your mind, or it may stay for a while.  You will beat yourself up about the things you did or didn’t do.  You can break your own heart. 

 

I Can’t Go On! 

The thing about the Broken Heart, distinct from other divorce in Ocean County emotions is the sense that the Broken Heart can never mend.  When it breaks and is broken, there is no hope.  There is no future.  Those strong feelings bring you to your knees emotionally and even physically.   

 

Divorce in Ocean County

My Spouse Feels Nothing! 

The surest way to keep your Broken Heart broken is to compare your pain to the pain your spouse lets you see.  Everyone in divorce in Ocean County suffers a moment of Broken Heart – even if your spouse is 100% the initiator of the divorce in Ocean County, even if your spouse has run off with another person and left you physically, emotionally, and financially alone.  Even if your spouse appears to feel nothing, it simply is never true.  Comparing your feelings, your Broken Heart, to the other spouse will only deepen your break and delay your healing. 

 

  

The Love Of My Life! 

It turns out, unlike Disney movies and ducks, humans are imperfect choosers of life partners.  When we marry, we sincerely believe and expect we have chosen well.  We expect the universe and our belief in a higher power has guided us to this powerful emotion known as love.  The believe the forces of evolution and the strength of love are an enduring duo.  We believe our spouse will be the love of our life – our personal evolution and the way we experience the world will immunize us from human frailty and keep us in sync with the love of our life. 

Day One is the Broken Heart and it will color all of the Eight Days of divorce in Ocean County in Ocean County.

You are able to experience the deep pain of the Broken Heart and its many manifestations within you.  You can segregate the emotional and physical impacts.  Know they are coming.  Know that in  watching these powerful emotions come, stick around, and go, you will be given a powerful measure of how long your Broken Heart will last.  It is kind of tough to make good decisions with a Broken Heart.  YOU are not broken.  Your heart will demand healing.  The quickest way to heal is to experience the pain and to believe it will subside.  The only way to succeed through the Broken Heart phase is to avoid making big decisions while in the throes of the pain of the Broken Heart. 

 

Head, Heart, Gut … Hurt – Your Divorce in Ocean County

It hurts.  No matter who you are or how hard-hearted you may be, divorce in Ocean County hurts.  One of my fastest and most successful cases involved a client named Peter.  Peter was a very successful professional – a turnaround specialist.  Peter had an Ivy League M.B.A. and was a C.F.O. for hire.  He worked in manufacturing, consulting, and construction.  His strategy was to come in and be paid a truck load of money to stick around for two to four years and then move on to the next mission.  A highly mobile career left a trail of lovely homes in desirable cities.  His wife had the pick of any two.  She would receive substantial assets and support from Peter.  He would be free to continue to pursue his career.  He was simultaneously cut-throat and fair to his wife.  When we met, he laid out the game plan with great precision and explained how the case would be done in three months.  I agreed with him, while secretly believing there was no chance.

 

He was exactly right.

 

Within three months, a deal had been constructed that both parties could live with and both attorneys felt was fair.  Peter appeared in court one time for 15 minutes.  After the case was over, I was thrilled and felt like a corporate titan.  I had helped the C.F.O. accomplish his project on time and on budget.  I expected a high-five and a promotion to the corner office.  Instead, Peter started crying.  This reminded me – your divorce in Ocean County hurts … everyone. 

On the first day – whether you are the initiator or the spouse hoping to reconcile, whether you have no hope, or whether you have full anticipation about your divorce in Ocean County will proceed – it will hurt.  If you have been separated for 15 years, your divorce in Ocean County will hurt.  You will feel it in your head, and in your heart.  You might even have physical symptoms.  Your feelings may seem powerful enough to paralyze and torture you for the rest of your days. 

 

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash